A few weeks ago OregganO asked me to keep my calendar open for a get together with her, Cream of Tartar, and some of their friends. The main purpose of the get together was so I could meet one of their single friends, NicNam Bomb.
I was telling BeCuz about it and she replied, “So you’re going on a blind date.” I hadn’t really thought of it as a blind date, but I guess that was essentially true. “As a blind date, hopefully he won’t ‘rub’ me the wrong way,” I joked with BeCuz. Then, I had a bit of an epiphany, “I think I may actually try and date a blind man, I bet they’re really good with their hands.”
Cream of Tartar and OregganO came over for pre-drinks and we ended up pulling out the 45s and listening to Survivor, The Oak Ridge Boys, Twisted Sister, Bernie Wayne, Laura Branigan, John Cougar Mellencamp and a few other classics. We probably shouldnt’ have started the night like this because it definitely set our music standards high. Outside of a few really good radio plays, the music we heard throughout the rest of the evening was substandard. It’s hard to beat a good batch of 45s and also hard to be on time when they’re spinning.
The get together was officially underway, at a local Asian grill, and we were officially fashionably late. As BeCuz and I had joked earlier, my blind date, “didn’t see that coming.” And he really didn’t, because NicNam Bomb wasn’t there yet – he was even more fashionable than us. So far, so good.
Cream of Tartar was sitting next to his third wife, Puffy Lime Green. First there is OregganO (this marriage is legal – recorded with the county, the works); then there is Bus Driver or, as Cream of Tartar endearingly refers to him, Drunk Bus Driver; and then, Puffy Lime Green. Puffy Lime Green and Cream of Tartar love spending time together, especially if fly fishing is involved. Puffy Lime Green also loves his puffy lime green coat, which he purchased at a Jeremy Jones yard sale. “I always get comments on it,” he told us as he pulled out a sheet of lozenges and a knife out from one of his many pockets in his puffy lime green coat. “Here,” he said as he handed me one of the lozenges. “Try this.” It looked like gum, but I felt I should inquire as to it’s being before putting it in my mouth (a good rule regardless of the ‘product), “What is it?” Cream of Tartar answered, “It’s Nicorette.”
NicNam Bomb was sipping a cup of Vietnamese coffee and was intrigued, “I’ll try it.” Cream of Tartar provided a suggestion, “I’d do half and if your spit starts to get weird and shit, I’d spit it out.” Puffy Lime Green agreed and began scoring the lozenge. Cream of Tartar was impressed, “That knife is badass. You always have the finest of knives.”
NicNam Bomb got his half and started chewing on it. He instantly felt a ‘kick.’ “Wow, what a mixture – Nicorette and Vietnamese coffee. It’s like a bomb.” And so it was, the NicNam Bomb.