Sometimes in life, when we can’t change our current situation, we change our hair, the decor in our home, or from white to red wine.
That’s Not Chinese was in need of a change, so we began revamping her bathroom and kitchen. The plan was to turn the bathroom into a toilette and the kitchen into a cocina. To start the day off right, That’s Not Chinese decided to make a chicken & apple sausage. When I entered her house, it appeared as though I might be needing to phone Skiwi for assistance. The entire kitchen was full of smoke. “What happened?” I asked. “Oh, man. I decided to try and use the pan from last night and then the sausage…” The remainder of her response was entirely inaudible as she became completely consumed by the thin layer of smoke in the air.
Prior to getting started on That’s Not Chinese’s project, and in an attempt to avoid smoke inhalation, we stopped by OregganO’s to check on her current renovations. She and Cream of Tartar were watching reality TV – an activity that I typically only enjoy with OregganO. “Would you ladies like a mimosa?” OregganO asked – those classes at Pottery Barn have really paid off. We, of course, politely accepted her offer and joined them on the sofa.
The shows we watched were interesting, but we found the commercials to be the most entertaining. An ASPCA public service announcement aired and That’s Not Chinese became very emotional. “I can’t watch this, poor Mink.” Mink was a small dog in a stainless steel cage who, like so many of us, ‘has been abandoned and just wants to be loved.’ “Poor Mink,” Cream of Tartar scoffed, “Look at her, she is behind bars. Probably killed her family – the entire litter – that’s why she is abandoned.” “Yep,” OregganO piped in, “Mink is doing time.” “Maybe you could send her money and they can put it on her books,” I added. “You know what,” That’s Not Chinese began to scold us, “it is a good thing I’m on anti-depressants.” “Whoa, easy, easy,” Cream of Tartar said in an attempt to console her, “those dogs are just actors.”
We eventually left the mimosas and reality TV and started ticking boxes on our to-do list. Within several hours, That’s Not Chinese had a toilette adjacent to her cocina and Dr. BJ had stopped by for wine and conversation.
We began reminiscing about the Second First Annual Brunch of the New Year and my love for cleaning supplies, specifically Orange Glo. “I still can’t get over you ‘squeezing the glo,'” That’s Not Chinese told Dr. BJ while shaking her head and then looked at me, “You’ve corrupted him.” “Listen,” Dr. BJ informed her, “I was squeezing the glo long before her.” “My eyes, my eyes, I can’t take the visual,” said That’s Not Chinese. “I can’t believe you were squeezing the glo long before me,” I said and tilted my head to the right (my version of winking’). “Mmm hmm,” Dr. BJ said with a Cheshire Cat smile, “I like sausage.”