Well, it’s official. I am starting a charitable organization. Greenbacks for Fullbacks. This organization is not designed to get money for the high school football team – everyone knows they get their money from the drama department and the arts programs. Greenbacks for Fullbacks gives women, who have had it with thongs, the opportunity to go out and invest in some nice fullback underwear. At first, I considered Greenbacks for Granny Pants, but I was afraid it would attract far too many sexual deviants and it didn’t rhyme.
My interest in fullbacks all started a few weeks ago, when I suggested somewhat of a thong boycott to OregganO – she felt that was a bit of a knee-jerk reaction. Personally, I felt it was more of an underwear going up my ass reaction.
As often happens when one is ‘in a relationship,’ their partner begins to influence many of their decisions. Rhoid has definitely had that effect on me. In fact, there is a good chance that Rhoid wouldn’t be in my life if it weren’t for thongs. Oh, and an inadequate intake of fiber.
Not one to take anything for granted, I’ve decided to eat more fiber, drink more water, start wearing fullbacks and ‘end’ things with Rhoid. This probably won’t be the first, or last, relationship sabotaged by fullbacks. I’m alright with it though, Rhoid is completely high maintenance and, like I told OregganO the other day, he is always riding my ass.
If you want to make a donation to Greenbacks for Fullbacks, I’ll have a jar at the local 7-11. To make sure the jar is legit, and that you’re not donating to some fictitious Greenbacks for Fullbacks organization, look for a picture of me – sporting my fullbacks and a eating a corndog. Seems right. Corn is a vegetable and I once read that foods served on a stick are a good source of fiber.