Part of my job duties involve reviewing current hot topics (i.e., Iowa inmates making ‘not fluffy, but acceptable’ toilet paper to save money; a college student ‘Googled’ himself only to discover he is a murder suspect; coach passengers can and will get a blanket if they take off all of their clothes during the flight) that may or may not be of interest to our organization. Today, as I was perusing the web and my email, I came across a media release with this heading, “Pregnancy Dangers Lurk at Holiday Parties.” I was intrigued, Maguired even (the release was Dorothy and I was Jerry…hello…).
Based on personal experience (with a ‘friend’, of course), I would have thought the release warned of impromptu, unprotected, alcohol induced intercourse. I was wrong. It actually warned of drinks and foods commonly served at holiday events that can lead to pregnancy problems. As I continued to ponder this release, I realized the headline could have so many meanings if one or two words were removed.
For example, “Dangers Lurk at Holiday Parties.” This release could warn, and in some cases remind, people of the negative outcomes of spending time with family or coworkers during the holidays. Another twist, “Dangers Lurk at Parties.” Most of us have found this to be true and our parents/legal guardians have most likely warned us of this. Lastly, “Lurk at Holiday Parties.” This release would be more of a ‘how-to’ for the creepy, stalker type. You know, the uncle whose hug is more like a grope; the coworker who knows the exact location of all of your files and personal items; or the neighbor who offers to rub tanning oil on you, remembers all of your swimming suits from previous seasons, and invites you to come over and watch ‘Real Sex’ when your parents aren’t home.
Ah, so many opportunities to be had with this release. And, yes, that is ‘what he said’.