The other day I paid my neighbor to clean out my rain gutters. When we agreed on the transaction he was outside, talking shop with some plumbers. I noticed his zipper was down, so I alerted him. “Casual Wednesday,” he replied.
Several days later Dr. BJ and I were sipping our morning coffee, when my neighbor made good on the deal. For whatever reason, sitting in the house drinking coffee while someone else cleaned up felt really nice. As we were watching him clean, I shared the zipper story with Dr. BJ, and his interest in gutter cleaning heightened.
A few minutes later I noticed the lights flicker and didn’t think much of it until I heard a knock at the back door – it was neighbor. “So, something weird just happened,” he started to tell me. “Did you get electrocuted?” I asked. “Yes, I did,” he vacantly replied, “but it was only 120 volts so I should be fine.” This is exactly why I don’t do this stuff myself.
A little later in the afternoon Dr. BJ, OregganO and I went to Two Stamps’ house for a Tee party. We immediately got into the theme – teeing up all kinds of magic and creativity with the glue gun, flowers, bling, pipe cleaner and, of course, tees. Diggler left the main party area for a while and when he returned I asked what he had been doing. “Building a couch fort,” he responded. “Who wants to sit in a massage chair?” The latter was so intriguing to me that I didn’t ask for details about the couch fort.
I took Diggler up on the offer, scooted my chair closer to an outlet and let the massage commence. Apparently the vibrations were strong enough to be felt by others in the room (I’m guessing the feeling was slightly similar to my neighbor’s electrocution). Not wanting to be selfish, I asked OregganO if she would like to try it out. I’ve never seen her get up so fast. She sat on the massage chair, set her wine on the table in front of her and was just maneuvering into the perfect position when the wine glass vibrated off the table and into her lap.
As we were cleaning up the mess, we were reminded of Quagmire The Farting Ventriloquist. “What do you really think happened?” Two Stamps asked. “Who knows,” I replied. “What I do know, however, is whenever I see people looking at or buying brooms I think to myself, ‘pervert’.”