Bienvenue à bord!

Being the seasoned travelers we are, we have a few questions and answers. Anyone who has flown is familiar with the safety instructions provided at the beginning of the flight and just prior to landing. Such as, seat backs forward and trays upright. Trays upright I kind of understand, but seat backs forward doesn’t make sense. As The Leaver would say, “What does it mean?” Is it to increase speed? Like when you lean forward on a low CC scooter or bicycle in an attempt to pick up the speed? Is our ability to take off quicker truly dependent on whether or not passengers are forward sitting. If so, I would like to have a few words to the passenger in 16D. Pretty sure he was the main reason our flight was delayed.

Like many other airlines, Air France provides an instructional video to promote safety messages. As we were watching the video the flight attendant on the screen mentioned smoking was “strictly forbidden.” This is a phrase commonly used by our cute little French friend, Maverick Midget King. Sleepless took note, “Now we know where Maverick Midget King learned to speak English.”

The instructions continued and, as they were demonstrating use of the inflatable life jacket, the passenger to our right quickly checked underneath his seat to ensure his jacket was there – seems a bit doubting, but perhaps he has had prior flights when he needed it and it wasn’t there. I was telling Sleepless I didn’t bring a neck pillow and was thinking about inflating my life vest. It was as if the video attendant heard my idea because she instructed, “Do not use your life jacket for any other reason.”

Our final question, “Are we there yet?” was answered 15 hours after our initial departure from New York City. We were finally on foreign soil. Now, we will be tasked with more difficult questions and answers. Est-ce que vous parlez anglais? Seulement en lit. Comment payez-vous? Seulement en lit. And last, but not least, gay or foreign (a question we frequently ask regardless of our location)? Seulement en lit…..bienvenue à bord!