First date: LA

Today marks my first date with JB. To celebrate, Sleepless and I bought tickets to Paris. For me, Paris seals the deal with JB and I couldn’t be happier about it.

I arrived in LA to find S-Unit and No Onions waiting for me at the baggage carousel. We were all starving so we immediately drove to a drive-thru fast food restaurant near S-Unit’s house. S-Unit placed the order, “We’ll have a regular quarter pounder with cheese, no onions. A regular quarter pounder with cheese, no cheese, no regular. A regular quarter pounder with cheese and nothing else. No, wait, no, OK. Oh, and three small fries.” It is amazing how good spit on your burger tastes when you’re hungry.

We met up with Manila Gorilla and his friends at a popular West side bar. “I need input from the four of you on something,” said I Can’t Put My Finger On It with his proper British accent. “I can’t put my finger on it,” he pauses, taps the table with his finger, makes eye contact with each of us, and takes a deep breath, “but I fuckin’ hate this place.” We thanked him for his honesty and all decided to go to a bar down the street.

“This was a good idea,” said Manila Gorilla. “Now you’ve seen way more of LA. Well, two blocks of it, anyway.” Manila Gorilla and his mates had just been to this bar a week or so ago, had only planned to stay an hour or so and ended up staying five hours. “It was a really good time and the S.W.A.T. team had surrounded the area and closed off the streets, so we had to stay.”

I Can’t Put A Finger On It was asking how long I was in town and whether or not we could hang out “European style” for one or three hours. “I think you like good food, good laugh, serious television,” he told me and continued, “I’ll date you while watching cable.”

S-Unit and I could not stop laughing about this exchange and decided dancing was in order. As we threw down some of our finest moves, S-Unit and Manila Gorilla would pop their heads around and exclaim, “I really like this place, really like it. Music is good. I really like it.”

As the three of us left the bar we located I Can’t Put My Finger On It so we could say goodbye. “Look, I know I’ve been over here chatting it up with a girl and all but its going nowhere, I still don’t know how I’m getting home and I really like the way you dance.” I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think I Can’t Put My Finger On It still wants to date me while watching cable tv.