A while back That’s Not Chinese, Unfazed and I decided to visit MiniMe in Alaska. Being that she lives above the Arctic Circle we knew our trip would not be short. That’s Not Chinese, one who likes to spend a lot of time in the places she visits, suggested a two-week vacation. Thus, we booked our flights and started planning.
Never a conventional traveler, I listened to the planning discussions, but didn’t really do any research. I figured Rated R and Cream Of Tartar would advise me of places to do and things to see based on their extensive reality TV research. I also knew That’s Not Chinese would be finding all kinds of activities for us. Lastly, I knew that, regardless of what we chose to do, it would be expensive.
About a month after we booked our airfare I received a call from That’s Not Chinese, “Alaska is expensive.” “We’ve discussed this already,” I replied. “I know, but I didn’t realize how expensive until I started looking at fishing trips and private flights to see the bears. It’s a lot of money,” she said and added, “I think I’m going to have to shorten my stay to just one week. Besides, I’m going to a family reunion in Tennessee in the fall so I’ll be needing the vacation time and money.”
Being that both Unfazed and MiniMe had to return to work the second week of our trip this change in itinerary essentially left me solo for the last six days. “What am I supposed to during the day now?” I asked That’s Not Chinese. “You can go berry picking,” MiniMe advised. “Yes, you’ll have a berry good time berry picking,” That’s Not Chinese said while trying not to laugh, then added, “Watch out for bear…ries.” “You’re not berry funny,” I informed her.
This exchange went on for an un’bear’able amount of time until MiniMe changed the subject, “I want inside Beaver.” “So do I,” That’s Not Chinese concurred. “Not that kind of beaver. It’s for my coat,” MiniMe clarified. “Have a fever? Wear some beaver,” That’s Not Chinese said, with a rather Cockney accent, then looked at her glass and stated, “Call the swine, I’m outta wine.” She then chuckled for a berry long time until she realized she was also out of rhyme and, with that, MiniMe and I departed, just as she will in Alaska – a little before the originally scheduled time.