A while ago Live Longer stayed at my house for about a week. During this time she had the privilege of enjoying my modern day chamber pot: a good ol’ Toto toilet.
She also enjoyed my toilet paper and was shocked when I informed her of the brand.
A few months later I learned that Live Longer’s time in my loo had left quite the impression.
“Live Longer enjoys your brand of toilet paper. What do you buy?” Opal asked me in a late night text.
“Charmin Ultra Soft,” I replied.
“Wow! Usually Charmin is so dusty. I would like to come over and try it. Where’s your spare key?” was Opal’s reply.
Not being at home, and having misplaced my spare key, I could not oblige her request to stop by and try it. Instead, I responded to the dust comment.
“Sometimes there is dust but I don’t know if that is the t.p. or my dry boat to ‘gina. When I’m feeling spunky I just use $100 bills.”
This comment – shared while with Rated R and her neighbor – sparked interest of the neighbor who preferred I give the $100 bills to her instead of using them as a wiping device.
I could see where she was going with this. Luckily, I’m stuck on the feeling Charmin Basic Ultra provides me and, instead of wiping with a Franklin, I definitely plan to use my next $100 bill toward the purchase of a new package of toilet paper.
The way I see it, as long as I’m squeezing the Charmin I don’t have to explain the dust.
