Liquid CrossFit

Recent studies have indicated that having one glass of red wine is the equivalent of one hour at the gym.

 

If that’s true, I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing liquid CrossFit.

 

Based on everything I’ve been reading about CrossFit, my friends and I are the spitting image of good health.

 

Optimized movements and spontaneous community gatherings define my friends and I to a T – we regularly gather spontaneously and each movement we make is optimized.

 

Just yesterday I air squatted a bit when trying to reach a top-shelf boxed wine.

 

Then, when I got distracted by the mid-shelf Riunite and accidentally dropped the Franzia, I did a quick box jump.

 

I opted against purchasing the box when I saw a really good case of malbec on the floor. One deadlift later and the case of malbec was in my cart.

 

Once I got home, and had a few glasses of wine, I was hollow rocking like a pro. In fact, if any of my law enforcement friends were to stop by they’d probably request I do the knees to elbows, aka, CrossFit sobriety test.

 

At which point, I would walking lunge my way to bed. Or, I’d just lay there and give them an opportunity to do the deadlift. Either way, we’d both get a good workout.

 

Thank you scientists. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some ‘exercise’ to do.

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