Eggcellent work

Over the last few months I’ve been consuming a lot of eggs. I’m not on a high protein diet and I don’t own a chicken named Colin. Rather, I’ve been spending a wee bit of time in the Sky Club and in hotels with continental breakfast specials where hard boiled eggs are the soup du jour. And, on occasion, Live Longer and I will purchase a dozen deviled eggs to down after a good workout (of wine).

 

Many may think that hard boiling an egg to perfection is simple work. Those ‘many’ should think again. There is a reason they call it hard boiling – it isn’t always easy.

 

This morning when I put my nine room temperature eggs in the pot and began the boiling process I immediately noticed one egg had really risen to the occasion. Unlike the other eggs who simply relaxed in their non-stick non-bubble bath, this egg floated to the top. I knew this egg was going to be different.

 

Once the boiling began I turned off the heat and left the eggs to harden in the warm water. Sounds easy, but it isn’t. One can easily forget they’re boiling eggs and the next thing you know they’re making sulfur souffles.

 

Ten-twelve minutes later I returned to the kitchen to find the egg that had stood out in the beginning was, once again, standing out.

 

This egg had a few cracks in her foundation but, after a non-shampoo set in the non-stick non-bubble bath, she looked like she was ready for a fancy party. To compliment her sunnyside updo, I drew some eyes ad lipstick on her, gave her a pearl earring – because everyone knows pearls equal classy, and she was ready for an eggstra special occasion: an Instagram post; perhaps even Facebook and Twitter.

 

Eggstra special lady with a sunnysideupdo.
Eggstra special lady with a sunnysideupdo.

 

As one can imagine, the responses were eggstraordinary!

 

“She’s a good egg!”

 

“Looks like you had an eggsplosion.”

 

“She’s a crack up!”

 

“She’s got a bit of egg on her face.”

 

“Just thinking of the sunny side of things.”

 

“I can’t stop! I’m possessed by the Devil’d egg!”

 

“Keep shelling them out.”

 

“Seriously though, I can take it, I haven’t reached my boiling point.”

 

“You’d have to do a lot of bEGGing to make me stop.”

 

“She’s a hard egg to crack.”

 

“Its a classic eggcessory.”

 

“Eggspress yourself.”

 

“If others don’t like this, they can beat it.”

 

“Some say self-eggspression is for the birds; I’d have to agree.”

 

“You are on quite the egg roll.”

 

“Please eggscuse me for a moment. I’m hungry for breakfast.”

 

“One yolk leads to another.”

 

“I may have to eggsit this conversation for a minute. I’m fried.”

 

One frequent responder (Live Longer) lamented, “I can’t help myself, I’m a bad egg.” Then added, “Thinking up egg puns is eggshausting!”

 

For me, the thing I liked best about this egg is that instead of leaning in, she stood up and out, even when her foundation was slightly cracked and things could have been pretty scrambled.

933 thoughts on “Eggcellent work”

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