Due to the demographics of my coworkers, I don’t often know if, and very rarely assume, they drink – coffee or alcohol. As a general rule, most do not. As a result, they are like my mother when it comes to consumption by others. In their minds, one drink (of alcohol) equates to complete intoxication. One drink of either – regardless of intoxication – means eternal damnation. Hopefully I’ll be into S&M by the time I die because I am definitely going to be punished.
I was chatting with coworkers about this – not S&M and my eternal damnation, rather, about whether or not people ‘drink’ – and we were trying to figure out a way to determine this without asking. After much discussion, we decided the best way to find out is to actually ask and I proposed this question, “What do you like to put in your mouth?” Damnation.
A few days after crafting the best question ever, one of my coworkers came into my office and, somehow, we started discussing dickeys. “I’m a dickey don’t,” she informed me. “That’s a shame, everyone should be a dickey do,” I replied. “Dickey don’t,” she firmly stated. “Dickey do. We did Dickeyoke. It was great,” I informed her.
Between finding out whether or not others drink or dickey, I’ve got my hands full.