Will he deliver?

Now that I’ve got my retainers and whiskey back I’m ready to take on the world again. I would have done it without them,  but what fun would that have been? I would have been sober, with crooked teeth, and without the lisp that Tree loves so much. The lisp is not from drinking, it is from straightening. I’d share a video with you to prove it, but Tree accidentally deleted it – one of his biggest regrets in life.

With all of my belongings back home I decided to check my box. As luck would have it, it was full – the result of me not requesting a mail hold, not to be confused with a male hold. Or, is it? Wanting me to experience a male hold, Sleepless recently found someone for me to date. “I just met a sexy mailman. I want you to go out with him and me and Ice Cream Man.” She went on, “He was pretty cool. But maybe the ‘mail’ gives him a cooler rating than he really is. Could’ve been the uniform.:) He’s 35 and has an 11-year-old daughter. And did I mention he’s a mailman?!”

I’m not big on being lined up or dating people with kids, but I like meeting new people and Sleepless was pretty excited about this, so I agreed to go if he called her. Some might say I’m a hypocrite for not wanting to date someone with kids, but that’s not it at all. I’ve dated and married (that one time I was married to that one guy) people with kids, and now I just want to be like the mail – priority.

Maybe dating a mailman is a good idea. If he is anything like his employer he will bring free supplies to my door, deliver (free) on Saturday, pickup packages for me (again, free), provide friendly phone service, and nearby service at the Post Office (naughty). One question weighs heavily on my mind: Will he deliver? Will this end in signature confirmation or return to sender? I don’t know, but I do know this, Sleepless will track, confirm and restrict delivery if necessary.