It’s been a while since Add-ly and I have hung out so when we met up this weekend we decided to make up for lost time. We started with a drink at her house, then went to a patio bar for drinks and fries, then we went to another patio bar for pizza and drinks, and, to end the evening, we went to a bar I haven’t been to since the time I received a ‘dating card’ from a customer at my part-time job.
Several years ago I was working my part-time job when a customer came in, made a payment, and asked me out. I respectfully declined and he boldly handed me his ‘dating card.’ The card is similar to a business card in size, however, instead of a simple signature line, this card is laminated, double sided and features what he considers his ‘services.’
The front of the card features his name across the top, italicized, in all caps. For the purpose of this entry, and having zero interest in providing him an avenue to promote himself, I’ll refer to him as “THE DOUCHE.” Immediately following his name were his ‘services.’ Gun-Runner: Revolutions & Insurrections; Bootlegger & Protector of Virtue (& Vice); Massage for the Ladies (only); Enforcement of Gentlemanly Conduct. Below these items are a toll-free number and a direct line. The toll-free number is a novelty number ending in “OOH DOUCHE.”
Flip the card over and it just gets better….or worse. The header reads “You may know a douche or 2 or 3…but now you’ve met “The Douche.” A definition follows. [the] (the before a vowel; the before a consonant) 1. a. Used before a name to denote that particular, specified person: (“The Douche”) b. Used to emphasize one of a group as the most outstanding or prominent: (“The Douche” is considered to be The Man.) c. Used to indicate uniqueness (The Pope or “The Douche”). Below the definition, additional services were detailed.
Following Services are available for Certain Ladies:
Dinner, Drinks, Laughs, & All-Around Good Time
Stress relieving massage – “Equalizer” Service
Have truck, will haul anything & Emergency road service
Passion & Love Defined (Go ‘head, ask me!)
I shared this story and card with Add-ly who asked, “Did you ever call him?” “Hell no,” I said and, being that we were a few drinks in, we decided to give him a call. Add-ly blocked her number, put the phone on speaker and anxiously awaited a response. The man on the other end said hello, she said hello, and then she got nervous. It became very clear the toll-free number still belonged to The Douche when we heard him attempt to use a phone sex voice and say, “Talk to me.”
We didn’t talk to him, rather, we hung up on him. We don’t need The Douche to enjoy dinner, drinks, laughs & all-around good time. We also don’t need a truck to haul things. I’ve got Dirk. If you need things hauled, talk to me….
https://tadalaccess.com/# cialis for women
cialis overdose: cialis images – cialis samples for physicians
how to get cialis for free: cialis milligrams – cialis insurance coverage blue cross
https://tadalaccess.com/# cialis on sale
generic cialis from india TadalAccess where can i buy cialis online in canada
side effects cialis: Tadal Access – cialis tadalafil online paypal
cialis stopped working: TadalAccess – cialis for sale in toront ontario
https://tadalaccess.com/# buying cialis
cialis professional review: cialis cheapest price – cialis and poppers
https://tadalaccess.com/# levitra vs cialis
cialis insurance coverage blue cross: TadalAccess – cialis australia online shopping
cialis canada sale: what is cialis taken for – cheaper alternative to cialis
https://tadalaccess.com/# truth behind generic cialis
cialis company: buying cialis online safe – cialis wikipedia
https://tadalaccess.com/# cheapest cialis 20 mg
sildenafil vs tadalafil vs vardenafil: Tadal Access – where can i buy cialis
https://tadalaccess.com/# cialis sublingual
tadalafil brand name: does cialis make you harder – generic tadalafil canada
what is the active ingredient in cialis: cialis price – cialis free trial canada
https://tadalaccess.com/# cialis online reviews
cialis generic timeline: cialis price costco – buying cialis internet
https://tadalaccess.com/# cialis contraindications
generic cialis tadalafil 20 mg from india: TadalAccess – cialis 10mg reviews
cialis efectos secundarios: how long does cialis take to work – original cialis online
https://tadalaccess.com/# cheapest cialis online
how much does cialis cost with insurance: what possible side effect should a patient taking tadalafil report to a physician quizlet – cialis prescription assistance program
https://tadalaccess.com/# overnight cialis
evolution peptides tadalafil: Tadal Access – find tadalafil
cialis milligrams Tadal Access generic cialis tadalafil 20mg india
get antibiotics quickly: antibiotic without presription – cheapest antibiotics
pharmacy online australia Pharm Au24 pharmacy online australia
Ero Pharm Fast: order ed pills online – ed medications cost
Over the counter antibiotics pills: Biot Pharm – buy antibiotics over the counter
https://pharmau24.com/# PharmAu24
PharmAu24 Online drugstore Australia Discount pharmacy Australia
cheapest antibiotics: BiotPharm – get antibiotics without seeing a doctor
buy antibiotics from canada: buy antibiotics online uk – buy antibiotics for uti
get antibiotics without seeing a doctor: BiotPharm – Over the counter antibiotics pills
buy antibiotics: BiotPharm – best online doctor for antibiotics
Pharm Au 24 Online drugstore Australia Pharm Au 24
Pharm Au24: Online drugstore Australia – Buy medicine online Australia
https://biotpharm.com/# buy antibiotics
antibiotic without presription: antibiotic without presription – buy antibiotics over the counter
get antibiotics quickly: Biot Pharm – cheapest antibiotics
get antibiotics without seeing a doctor: BiotPharm – buy antibiotics from india
Ero Pharm Fast: cheapest ed medication – ed med online
http://pharmau24.com/# Medications online Australia
Pharm Au24 Pharm Au24 Pharm Au 24
get antibiotics without seeing a doctor: buy antibiotics online – get antibiotics without seeing a doctor
best online doctor for antibiotics: buy antibiotics online – cheapest antibiotics