Sleepless, Ice Cream Man, Tree and I decided to grace the city with our presence this weekend. Thus, we got all dressed up, well, we got dressed, and headed to the bar. Being that Sleepless, Ice Cream Man and I had enjoyed pre-drinks at my house prior to retrieving Tree from the train station, we were more than ready to go (to the bathroom and out on the town). With Tree in tow, we drove toward the bar, passing the homeless shelter along the way. “Looks like the homeless are having a block party,” Sleepless commented on the shelter/street that was lined with homeless and police vehicles. “Let’s check in!” Tree excitedly replied while quickly checking us in on facebook. Luckily, when we drink, our temperament stays the same: assholes.
Once at our destination we found it to be full of hipsters. “Great,” Tree commented. “What do you call a hipster who is an asshole?” I asked him. “A hipster,” he replied. “Does that mean we’re hipsters?” I asked. Instead of answering the question, Sleepless and I asked Tree to take a picture of our hips, with our panties hoisted high above our pant line, and posted it on instagram with this tagline, “A couple of hips…ters.” Drunk photo posts and status updates are awesome.
We continued to enjoy our time at the bar, in spite of the other patrons. As Sleepless and I danced, Tree told stories that we apparently didn’t hear. “I’m going back to my phone, it listens to me,” he sullenly told us. “OK,” we said and danced on. “The problem with keeping up with drunk conversation is that everyone is drunk,” he continued to talk to us and then shared his opinion about a male patron’s feelings toward me, “He thinks you’re crazy.” “He doesn’t know I have a pension or a low co-pay. Who is crazy now?” I replied. “Again, drunk conversation,” Tree stated. Just because I don’t listen is no reason for him to get snippy with me.
Once the bar closed, we helped the patrons/assholes/hipsters, most of whom are probably not circumcised, find the appropriate exit. The ‘piece’ about circumcision is important because, as we learned from Ice Cream Man during pre-drinks, “I’m gonna tell you right now, from being on swim team, most of ’em (men) are circumcised. Those who aren’t don’t have much personality.” Oh, snap! Or, in this case, snip!
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