There is a guy in my building who regularly stops by my office and gives me candy. Usually, the candy is warm because it has been in his hand since leaving his office (approximately one minute away from mine). The whole exchange has a very pedophile at the park feel to it. I’m not sure what he drives, but I won’t be surprised if I roll up on a white kidnapper van at a light and find him driving.
In addition to leaving me sweaty sugar, he usually makes an interesting comment or two and then returns to his office. Today, he walked into my office and dropped two almonds on my desk. “Did you just drop two nuts on my desk?” I asked him. “He smirked and dropped another , except it was actually only a half of an almond. “Two and a half nuts. Really?” I said. He picked up the half and replaced it with a third full size almond. “Enjoy my nuts,” he said and left.
If you’re wondering whether or not I ate them, the answer is no. Nobody likes sweaty nuts.