My Travel Show

Travel shows seem to be quite the trend as of late and, not one to miss out on an opportunity to share my mad travel and acting skills, I’ve decided it might be a good idea to start filming my adventures.

My most recent trip would be an amazing first episode and would make Rick Steves, Dhani Jones and Samantha Jones wonder what they’ve been doing in all the places they’ve been going.

I’m not one to watch a lot of television, so I actually had to do a little online research (searched ‘travel show cable’) to know about their shows and my supposed competition. The idea to have my own travel show came to me while spending some time (hours) in Meaux, France, watching cooking shows that featured towns and foods in different regions of France. These cooking shows were superb and I thought to myself, “Wow. I sure wish someone was filming how I spend my time in France.” My show, which I think I’ll just call ‘My Travel Show,’ would go something like this:

Aerial shot of Meaux  – pan around town (being sure to get the cathedral, pâtisserie, brasserie, pharmacie and cobbler shop); travel with camera, along the river, to Clergy Les Meaux (just the names make it sound so good, so French); zoom in to me standing in the frame of an open French (also very French) door; wearing a robe and house slippers, sipping a cafe espresso (steam from cup a must) and looking out  to what the viewers will assume to be a large open French countryside.

As all of this is happening I will be providing a voice-over. “Paris is a must-see when traveling to France. Also a must see are the many small towns and villages scattered throughout the French countryside.”

Next shot, I am sitting on a futon with cheetah print blankets, clothes drying rack and a curio cabinet with small cards/souvenirs featuring nude Vegas girls wedged into the glass of the curio, behind me. In the background will be the sound of people cooking and talking in French – very French.

“Spending time in these small towns with the locals will give you a true taste of French living,” I will say, take a quick sip, and then add, “Let’s see what’s taking place in the kitchen or, as they say here in France, la cuisine.” I will then look forward and the camera will pan to the door toward the kitchen, continue panning across the room (capturing the plastic containers full of electronic gadgets, luggage that has not yet been put away, and box of CDs) until they get to the TV, where they will zoom in on the French travel/cooking show I’d been watching for the last five hours.

“This is how to live like a local,” I’ll say with camera on me. I’ll then kick off my house slippers; wrap up in the cheetah blanket; quickly look around the room and then yell out (to the locals), “Où la télécommande est?” I believe that is French for “Where is the remote?” I”ll see it on make-shift coffee table, grab it, and change the channel until I find the 24-hour music video station. 24-hours of music videos?  “Living like a local! I’m not leaving this room, ever!” At which point the camera can exit the way it came, through the open French door that actually leads out to a large ash tray full of cigarette butts, a shed and neighboring houses.