Now that Ice Cream Man and Sleepless have made their relationship official – both by marriage and consummation – we decided to celebrate, again, at a fine Spanish restaurant. Also joining us for the celebration were Tree and FatGirl. Although FatGirl was at first hesitant about the restaurant (he had to drive at least ten miles out of his comfort zone), he liked that it was Spanish because, “I’m Mexican….and Spanish.” “You just made that last part up,” Tree told him.
Utilizing my Spanish speaking skills, I read the menu items aloud and suggested we each pick something based on the best and longest Spanish title. I selected Solomillo De Cerdo Con Manzana Frita Y Salsa Agridulce De Frambuesas. FatGirl took one look at the menu, then looked to Sleepless for assistance, “Can you please translate for me?” I advised him, the Spanish Mexican, that the English translation was printed directly below the Spanish. He giggled and again asked for Sleepless’ assistance. He ended up ordering the sea bass, however, refused to attempt to say it in Spanish, Lubina. “I speak Spanish. Sí,” he told us and added, “Sí bass.”
When his sí bass arrived, he offered for others to enjoy. “No. I don’t eat endangered fish,” Tree advised him. “Endangered? Well I better eat it while I can,” FatGirl replied with a giggle. “Does anyone want to dip in my sauce?” Sleepless asked and added, “We should all dip in each others sauces.” “I like that idea. Ice Cream Man, can I dip in your creamy white sauce?” FatGirl asked. Always culturally and politically correct, our little (pun intended) Spanish Mexican friend.
As the night continued, Jennifer Lopez became a topic of discussion; unsure as to why, other than the fact that FatGirl adores her. “I’ve even got her name tattooed on my ass,” he told us. “You do?” Sleepless asked in shock. FatGirl started to pull up his shirt, stuck his ass in the air and then said, “Just kidding. I just wanted everyone to look at my ass.” Ice Cream Man, who was only meeting FatGirl for the second time, continued to enjoy his white sauce and dark beverage, as if we weren’t even there. Very Dos Equis of him.