Every now and again Progressive tolerates the company of Sleepless and I at lunch. I think this is because he is our friend.
As our friend, he is patient with us. For example, when Sleepless ordered a pizza she asked, “Are there onions on it?” “Yes,” the server replied. “Will you please take them off?” Sleepless politely asked. “Instead of taking them off, why don’t you just not have them on it in the first place,” Progressive wisely suggested. “I think you should have them put the onions on and then take them off. You should probably get mushrooms too, but then have them removed,” I added. She giggled and continued to enjoy her beverage.
Prior to bringing us our entrees, they brought out a salad. We told the server that none of us had a salad. A few minutes later they returned and handed it to me, “You said bleu cheese dressing, right?” “Oh, yeah, I did. I wondered why you asked about that.”
As we caught Progressive up on the details of our life he advised us, “You need to turn the Fs into As.” We were both pretty baffled. “Aucker? Auck off? Mother Aucker? I don’t get it,” I told him. “Me neither,” said Sleepless as she enjoyed her pizza, sans onions. “Fs into As – friends into acquaintances,” he said with confirmation. “Oh, yes, Fs into As. Got it. Good idea,” I said. After this lunch with us, we may soon be As in his book.