Correlations

It’s hard to believe it has been a year since Prime Rib, The Responsible One and I popped popcorn and drank whiskey and soda poolside. This year, sadly, The Responsible One did not join us for the conference or, more importantly, the post conference activities.

 

Prime Rib loves his soda and was craving something sweet, so we headed to the grocery store. He advised me that he had, again, brought whiskey. “That’s good. All I brought is nothing,” I replied. He kindly offered to share, we bought our soda and licorice and headed to the pool.

Being that it was late and slightly overcast, nobody else was at the pool – at first. As we were refreshing our beverages, a man with a 70s moustache entered the pool area, immediately removed his shirt and immersed himself in the hot tub. He then got out of the hot tub, dove in the pool, swam a few laps and returned to the hot tub. A few minutes later, he repeated his routine. Prime Rib was baffled by him and needed to make room for more whiskey, so he made a quick dash to the poolside bathroom.

 

I continued to enjoy my beverage and the exercise routine. Prime Rib returned and said, “That bathroom is nice. I totally would have had sex in there in high school.” “Really? Hmmm. I’ll have to check it out,” I replied. “By the way, have you ever noticed that people with hairlips tend to workout a lot?” Prime Rib asked me under his breath while gesturing to the late night swimmer. “I haven’t and did not realize he had a hairlip – all I saw was a moustache,” I said and asked, “If that is true, would it be fair to say most people who workout have hairlips?” “Maybe,” Prime Rib replied, contemplating the concept. “One more reason I don’t workout,” I replied.

 

I must say, I’m not a firm believer of the concept that nice bathrooms equal sex and hairlips equal exercise. I do believe, however, there is a strong correlation between me being in this city and drinking whiskey poolside.

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