Better off red

We’ve all heard the stories about red wine, in moderation, being good for our hearts. In many cases, it is also good for friendships.

Bringing a nice (emphasis on this adjective) bottle of red wine to another person’s home, unless they’re an alcoholic or non-drinker, is always a safe bet and may result in a repeat invitation. Bringing a crap bottle of wine (yes, those do exist) never garners good results.

The other day, I got a text from That’s Not Chinese which read, “What do you think about white zin?” That’s Not Chinese, like the Chinese, wholeheartedly believes in the power of red, so her text was interesting to me. I replied, “I like it, why? I like rosé too.” Her response, “Lame.” Turns out, That’s Not Chinese had been watching a Bears game, ran out of wine, and sent a text to Mini Me asking her to stop at the liquor store. Mini Me kindly obliged and, in addition to bringing red for That’s Not Chinese, brought white zinfandel for herself. In the case of That’s Not Chinese, I would recommend always taking at least two bottles of ‘nice’ red. Once she drinks them she won’t notice or care about what color of wine you are enjoying.

Alice is a lot like That’s Not Chinese when it comes to red, in that, she loves her red wine. A few days after receiving That’s Not Chinese’s text messages we all got together for red wine stooping. That’s Not Chinese advised us that, although red wine is both good for her heart and soul, it has been causing her some problems. “Acid reflux,” she told us. “Tomatoes and red wine seem to be causing major heartburn for me. So, I’m cutting back on my tomato consumption.” “Good thinking,” Alice stated.

That’s Not Chinese eventually went home, leaving Alice and I to stoop on our own. We did so for several bottles and hours – something we don’t do very often because, as ‘they’ suggest, moderation is important. We fed our souls, hearts and friendships – all very good things. We didn’t, however, feed our bellies, which made me wonder the next morning, when my stomach was growling and my head was pounding, “Better off red? Not today.”