With the Summer Olympics coming to a close in England, we decided to hold our own version in East Hampton. After very little deliberation we decided to call it The Hamptomlympics. “Not to be confused with The Hampton Limp Dicks,” I said. “That’s a moutful…or not,” Kitty quipped.
Our competitions would include synchronized drinking, stretching (done in bed – this morning Lady Spaniel got a perfect 10), hosta jumping, belly flopping, tube entry, raft landing, projectile vomiting, and any other “sports” we wanted to add.
“What about cheating with drugs to enhance your performance?” Sumner Charles III asked. “No dopping….control,” Woody advised and added, “You’re free to use whatever you’d like.”
That worked well for three of us. Thanks to alcohol, Sumner Charles II got the gold, Duffy got the silver and Kitty got the bronze in projectile vomiting. Proud moments.
While competing for the silver for pool time, which I believe was a tie between me and Kitty, Lady Spaniel was “relaxing” inbetween Woody’s legs. “Check out this Olympic training event. Ladies will be lining up to use my equipment,” Woody proudly stated. He clearly was not a member of The Hampton Limp Dicks.