Clean title. Non-smoker. No issues.

Two years ago I decided to sell my car. Two years later, I still own it. This isn’t because it isn’t a good car or I’m not a good salesman. It is merely because, with the exception of TooStalky, I don’t get a lot of ‘traffic’ in my driveway. As a result, most don’t know it is for sale.

 

I decided to post it on an online classifieds/car site and, within a few days, received several inquiries. “What kind of car is it?” was one of the first. Really? You took the time to look at the post long enough to get my number yet you don’t know the car type? My second favorite, “Clean title? Ever smoked in? Any issues?” My reply, “Clean title. Non-smoker. No issues.” After I hit ‘send,’ I momentarily thought of joining an online dating service using those three lines, and only those three lines, as my profile information. A few text messages later, this potential buyer, not having requested a time to look at the vehicle and already asking for $1,000 off the price, asked for my address. I respectfully declined.

 

Several hours later I received a text from the man who inquired about my car a couple of months ago and, with his children, attempted to help me break into my house. “Have you sold your car? Has the price come down any? I’m still flaky but I’m still in the market.” Confirmation, yet again, that selling cars online is almost exactly like dating online.

 

We exchanged a few more texts and he made an offer for the vehicle. Being that the car had been sitting in my driveway for a couple of months, I decided to take it to the carwash. I quickly grabbed the key, shut the back door of my house, and realized I had, yet again, locked myself out of my house. Every time this guy expresses sincere interest (in my car) I lock myself out of my house. I may have to change my personal information: Clean Title. Non-smoker. Some issues.

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