Be sexy at your own risk

Live Longer got an online deal for roller skating and invited several of her friends to join her. I was pretty excited because it has been at least 10 years, maybe 20, since I’ve dressed in disco attire and donned this establishment.

 

Today was the big day and, after receiving several text messages from Live Longer about attire, I decided I was going to dress up regardless of whether or not anyone else did so. I went down to my costume room (yes, it used to be a box, but my box runneth over) and found a couple of my favorites. I tried them on and realized I either left them in the dryer too long or my body had slightly changed over the last decade. Luckily, I found a bright orange skort and silver shirt that fit like O.J. Simpson’s glove (just barely) and accessorized them with a large red wig, scarf and tube socks.

 

Live Longer arrived to retrieve me, in disco attire – yeah!, and we headed to the rink. We arrived to find a poster announcing ‘flashback night’ on Saturdays from 10 to midnight. “Oops. Looks like we came on the wrong night,” Live Longer told me. “What are you talking about? I always dress like this,” I replied. As we were skating around the rink to ‘family friendly requests,’ Live Longer began skating backwards. “How does she do that?” I asked Oper. “She’s Asian,” Oper replied. I then asked Live Longer, “How do you do that?” “I don’t know but I can’t turn back around or I’ll fall down, so I’ve got to keep skating like this,” she replied.

 

The skating rink has changed a bit since I was there last. There are no walls to run into or hang onto and they allow kids on razors on the rink. “What the hell is happening here?” Oper asked and then told a young child on a razor, who skated too close to her for her comfort, “Back off!” “I wonder if they’d let me roll around the rink in a Jazzy,” Oper pondered aloud and then said as she nearly biffed it, “They should definitely make me wear a helmet.”

 

We skated like there was no tomorrow and like there were no kids on razors on the rink. My scarf/headband was getting a little hot so I decided to adjust it a bit and wrapped it over my head instead of around my head. “You look like a mix between a frau and a prostitute. You’re a fraustitute!” Oper exclaimed and then rolled away. She was right, I was working a look and it was something. In fact, we all were. Plus, it had been some time since most of us had skated so there were a few near falls, however, we quickly regained composure by pretending the flailing of our arms and legs was an intended disco move. Unfortunately, there were also a few times our ‘disco moves’ landed us on our assess.  Although the rink had written warning signs, “Skate at your own risk,” for all of the patrons, they really needed an amended sign for us, “Be sexy at your own risk.”

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