Rat from the back

Ice Cream Man has been out of town and Sleepless and I have anxiously awaiting his return. Last time he returned home, Sleepless waited for him at the airport with a sign announcing they were pregnant. This time, we decided to take it up a notch and dress up like his polygamist wives.

We started getting ready about an hour before his arrival time. An hour may seem like a lot of time, but when you’ve got to do your hair like we did, it was almost not enough time. Sleepless started with her hair first, “I forgot how good I am at this,” she told me while teasing her hair. No need to jump to conclusions, Sleepless was not a polygamist in a former life. She did, however, grow up in the eighties. A period when bumper bags complimented every outfit. As she continued to tease, she stated, “Polygamists clearly don’t have extensions and bald spots. Makes this hairstyle much more difficult.”

I attempted to tease my hair, however, wasn’t having much success. “The most important thing to know if you’re going to be a polygamist: rat from the back,” Sleepless told me, took the comb and said, “I’ll do it for you.”

With our hair in traditional ‘style,’ we donned our long sleeved, high-necked dresses, jeans, tube socks and sneakers and headed to the airport. We arrived just in time to greet Ice Cream Man at the baggage carousel – something that would come as a surprise to him because he was expecting to be retrieved curbside by Sleepless only; not inside, by his polygamist wives.

We stood near the carousel for some time before Ice Cream Man saw us; during this time, however, we were seen by countless others.  Most stared, some giggled, and a few approached us. “I can’t make eye contact or I’ll giggle,” Sleepless told me and added, “Besides, we’re not supposed to, right?” Not being well versed in the practice, I decided to go with my instinct, “Yes, that’s right, Sister.”

While we patiently waited for Ice Cream Man to see us, several airport patrons stopped by to converse with us, “I wish I could be here to see his response,” “You two are brave – if I had my video camera I would totally film this,” and, one of the best, “May I take a picture of you? My husband doesn’t believe your type exists.”  By the time the last question was asked, Ice Cream Man had spotted us, turned several shades of red, and met up with us – just in time for the picture. “Wow. How did you do this?” he asked us. “We ratted from the back, Father,” Sleepless replied. With that, the three of us walked out of the airport and into the sunset.