Post v. Poke

MiniMe decided to join That’s Not Chinese and I for a night on the town. Like many girls with the gift of long legs, many of the dresses MiniMe wears look like shirts. Guess it is fair to say her dress really puts the mini in MiniMe. As she stepped away to finish with grooming That’s Not Chinese whispered to me, “You realize she’ll be going home with someone tonight and you and I will once again be going home alone.”

 

The odds for this began to change when we arrived at the restaurant. Our servers couldn’t be more accommodating – we actually only had one server, but one of the other servers continually checked in on us and even advised us to ask for him next time. This could be because he was working the other night when Har, Sleepless and I witnessed what we believed to be a three-way in the making. “It was more of a two-and-a-half-way,” he informed That’s Not Chinese, MiniMe and I. Between this and other topics of conversation, he and our main server enjoyed checking in on us.

 

On one occasion, our server returned to the table as we were discussing a friend’s feelings about facebook posts. Somehow, by posting on his wall, it gave others the impression that the posting party wanted to have sex with him. “Since when did posting replace poking?” I asked That’s Not Chinese and MiniMe. “It didn’t, poking is still a thing,” That’s Not Chinese replied with great confidence. Being that our server approached at this exact time, I asked him, “Are you a poster or a poker?” His face went red as he told us he was a ‘poster’ and did hand gestures to demonstrate a poke v. a post with a lot of girth. “OK, that is good to know, thank you, but we are referring to facebook,” That’s Not Chinese told him while we giggled. “I can’t believe you two,” was the phrase that continually left MiniMe’s mouth.

 

As our server was escorting me to the loo (only the best service at this restaurant) he advised me our non-server was interested in me. “Thank you,” I replied. I returned to the table unescorted – respectfully declined – and shared this news with That’s Not Chinese and MiniMe. “Of course he is interested in you, he’s gay,” That’s Not Chinese quipped. “Now who is the fruit fly?” MiniMe asked. “Oh, honey, your mama has always been a fruit fly. Look at her arsenal of gay friends,” That’s Not Chinese said. “Funny you should mention that,” I told her and added, “The other day Mini Sparkle Donut introduced me to her brother-in-law and said, ‘He is going to be your new bff.’ I asked, ‘Isn’t he gay?’ She replied, ‘Exactly.’ This is why I’m single. That and the fact that I post instead of poke.”

 

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