I stopped by LaLaLovely’s house to wish her a birthday and, because it is her birthday and she is heading out of town for the weekend, I gave her one of my winning condoms. “Thanks, I’ll put that in my suitcase right now,” she told me. A few minutes later, as she was cleaning out her purse so she could clear security, she pulled out a non-winning condom, “Look at that. Now I’ll have two!”
Right soon after this, her ex-husband/house sitter joined us. He immediately poured himself a drink – a combination of orange juice, Fresca and vodka. “I like to call this a frescrew,” he told us. Bet he’d like one of the winning condoms to go with that drink.
Once we all had our drinks, we began helping their son with his Smithsonian Prehistoric Monsters Kit. LaLaLovely was having difficulty reading the package of eggs and asked, “Can you see things close up?” “Yes,” I replied. “Not me. I had the Lasik and I can see good far away but not up close.” “Sounds like most of the people I meet at bars – they look good far away, but…” “Good from far, far from good,” her ex interjected. “Exactly,” I replied.
Between the four of us, we got half the triops eggs in the aquarium and LaLaLovely gave the boys several reminders to feed the triops once they hatch. Wanting to know a little more about these crustaceans, I asked about their role in the eco-system. LaLaLovely’s son replied, “They’re just for entertainment.” It was then that LaLaLovely and I, who have been sperm buddies since second grade, decided we, too, were triops.