While dining with Mama and MiniMe, I noticed a very pregnant woman whose belly button protruded almost as much as her belly. This, of course, reminded me of the little girl who had a penis growing out of her belly button, so I shared the story.
“We thought you were a boy,” Mama announced. “What?” I asked. “We thought you were a boy. Totally looked like you had a penis when you were born,” she said. “What was it? Swollen clitoris?” I asked. “No, not that. They said it was a vaginal cyst,” she replied. “So did they have to cut it off like the belly button penis?” I inquired. “No, they said it would just go away. I’m assuming it did. Did it?” she asked rather nonchalantly. “I don’t know. I’ll have to check. Wow. I have always had crotch problems,” I said. “It’s true. You dropped the computer on your crotch,” MiniMe interjected. “Yes, yes I did. There was also the time I was riding that boy bike in grade school, didn’t clear a ‘jump,’ and landed right on the bar. Remember when we went on that family trip to Disneyland and I had to go to the doctor?” “Oh, yes. I think you had some sort of yeast infection,” Mama replied, again, nonchalantly. “I was like ten. How is that possible?”
As soon as I got home I decided to find out how any of this was possible. Apparently, a paraurethral cyst is a rare abnormality that occurs in 1 in 7000 births. In the few studies I read, there are only 30-50 cases reported in literature – this blog entry bumps those numbers up one notch. As far as the other matters, I’m guessing a lack of coordination and a little too much time in the bathing suit are to blame. I’m not too worried about any of it, but I’ll probably stop wearing my bikini to the office on casual Friday.