I Was A Stripper is in between opportunities right now and decided to spend a few days with me. We invited The Leaver over and spent a lot of time reminiscing. As we did so, they outed each other on a few things. “I don’t drink anymore,” I Was A Stripper told us. “That’s good, you get into trouble when you drink,” The Leaver added. “I know. I’m done. I’m not drinking or DUIing anymore,” she said. “How long has it been?” I asked her. “Oh, God, let’s see,” I Was A Stripper said while thinking about the last time, “At least five days.”
Everybody has bad habits, some worse than others, The Leaver wasn’t exempt. “Has she ever cupped a fart for you?” I Was A Stripper asked me. “Nope.” “I’m surprised, it’s’ classic. She cups her fart and then she smells it,” I Was A Stripper told me and then showed me as if we were playing charades. “Wow,” I replied. “I can’t believe she hasn’t done that for you,” I Was A Stripper said. “I don’t think we’re at that place in our relationship yet – I’ve only known her for 15 years or so,” I replied. The Leaver returned to the room and said, “I love the smell of my own farts. Did she tell you she speaks French in her sleep?” “Gross,” I told The Leaver and then asked I Was A Stripper, “Do you speak French?” “Nope,” she replied and giggled. “So you’re saying she’s a sleepFrencher?” I asked. “Sí,” The Leaver replied.