Note: Commandments are bible principles (and a 1997 movie starring Aidan Quinn – yum!). They are not, contrary to not so popular belief, after-sex mints for people into S&M.
As I’ve mentioned before (one fish, two fish, three fishes and loaves), I am not all too familiar with the bible. In fact, the closest I ever get to ‘bible’ is la biblioteca – which I love with all of mi corazon. I guess I could be close to the bible if I stayed at some seedy hotel that leaves command mints on your pillow and a bible in the night stand next to the bed that vibrates for twenty-five cents per minute.
I tried to get close to the bible once, via jury duty. I swear, I’m telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Sadly, that head in the clouds dream was shattered by a plea deal.
Sleepless, who was called for jury duty the same time frame and district as me, went to court and was selected as a juror. I was totally coveting her day in the jury box. It didn’t seem right that she was there and I wasn’t. After all, it is supposed to be a jury of your peers and we’re really good peers. Luckily, I didn’t have to covet for long because her time as a juror was short and she was soon back to work.
Unfortunately, I am yet, again, coveting. This time, it is my neighbor’s built-in bookshelves. Like I mentioned previously, I love la biblioteca and my neighbors have enough books and built-in bookcases to make Dewey dizzy. Being that I have no way of having what they have, I settled for sloppy seconds at la biblioteca where I found all kinds of goodness, including The Ten Commandments of Working in a Hostile Environment, Thou Shalt Not Dump the Skater Dude and Other Commandments, and The Pen Commandments. Since I haven’t gone to work for a while and I haven’t dated skaters (or anyone else for that matter) for years, I opted for the latter. Don’t covet. I’ll check it out and pen you all about it!