While at lunch with Miss Information she was sharing her frustration about a couple of coworkers who went to lunch without her. “I think you may need to mediate when we return,” she advised me. “Did you send them a text to see where they are?” I asked. “Yes, no response. Where there’s a will…” she replied. “…there’s a way. We should totally start our own mediation service. You be Will and I’ll be Way. Will & Way Mediation, Inc.,” I suggested.
“Let’s do it. In the meantime, let’s check out what our homie name might be,” she stated, distracted by a shiny poster with pictures and names of ‘homies’, which seemed to have caused her to forget her need for mediation. I quickly found my name, ‘Bubbles,’ and told her, “It makes sense that this be my homie name because it is already my stage name and when I say ‘stage name,’ I mean the name I use when I dress up as a clown at birthday parties. Which is something I haven’t done for years. Recession and all.” “Speaking of birthday parties, did you know you can take the letters from ‘Happy Birthday’ and make the phrase ‘Hippy Bath Party?'” she asked. “I did not know that,” I replied. “Yeah, I did it once,” she proudly announced. “Had a hippy bath party or changed the letters around?” I asked. “Where there’s a will….” she replied.