It’s been a while since Sleepless and I have been to C in a Box and, thanks to Sleepless’ recommendation, we met up there tonight with Standard Time and One And Done. To our surprise and pleasure, Frozen Soup was working. We ordered our standards – anything we want – and truly enjoyed the pours.
As we were discussing foods, Sleepless advised us of a situation, “Oh, man, my pants are not easy to get on lately. Between France and Ice Cream Man in them,” she said and then realized what she said at the same time that Standard Time and I realized what she said. “You know what I mean,” she said, trying to save face. “Oh, yes, we do,” Standard Time told her. “Relationships will do that to you,” I told her and added, “That’s why I’m thinking about breaking up with myself.”
As we were dining and dishing, we came up with a great idea for a short documentary which would involve C in a Box, Frozen Soup and online dating. We called him over to share the idea and let him know we would be filming there. “No problem. You can use the establishment, me, anything. I’ve done commercials. I once did a commercial with Jane Lynch. We got shithoused together and she told me she was working on this thing called Best In Show. I’m still doing commercials.” “Not after tonight,” I advised him. “That guy looks like Ben Stiller,” One And Done stated as he walked away. “That guy? Frozen Soup? That guy is our main man in the show,” I replied.
After spending a few hours plotting our next big business endeavor, we decided to drop in at a concert. We arrived too late for the opening band and just in time for the main band. “I’ve never stayed out this late on a week night,” Standard Time advised us. “It’s just after 9,” Sleepless told her. “I know, crazy!” she replied. Once we entered the venue she noticed a lot of the attendees were much younger than us. “It’s true, we are a bit older, but not that old. One day, we’ll be old and shitting our pants,” I told her and added, “I don’t really want that to happen, so I’m shitting my pants now.”
We then did what we always do at such events – got drinks, front row, set lists, and pictures with the band. When we were next to the stage, Standard Time made a suggestion, “We should throw our bras up on the stage. It would be cool if they were like 1930s bras.” “Or we could throw our Depends on the stage,” I suggested. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us to wear plaid,” Sleepless told me with great disappointment. She was right. We usually dress according to theme and we missed the unshowered, unshaved, plaid boat. There were more plaid shirts at this event than at an Indigo Girls concert.
As we left the concert, Sleepless told us, “These last four minutes have been the best – this is exactly why we need to go on a girls trip.” “The last four minutes are usually the best,” I replied. Standard Time agreed and we left the bar with our integrity and Depends, surprisingly, still intact. In addition, we arrived home before midnight.