Old friends

Many things are spiked during the holidays: domestic abuse rates, questions about religion, punch/beverages, and time with family and old friends. When given the option, I select the spiked beverages and old friends. By old friends, I mean old in age and time. I’m not ashamed to say my friends and I are old. As I once told Q, “I’d rather be old than mature.”

Thus, to stay in sync with the holiday trends, On My Terms, Bruiser, La La Lovely and I all gathered for spiked beverages and lunch. So Hip was supposed to join us, however, she forgot – age does that to you. After four hours of spiking the interest of the patrons around us, with our loud laughter and carefree nature, we felt it would be best to continue the libations at my house.

Prior to making it home, BamRight?!?! called and invited us to join him for drinks in Bruiser’s neck of the woods. It’s been a while since we’ve imbibed with him, so we accepted the offer. BamRight?!?! has a bit of a fascination with swinging and has a routine of having the bartender point out the swingers in the bar. “You know I put a couple of white rocks in my front yard,” he advised me. “Good. Now you just need to start wearing white sneakers. Something solid like New Balance or Asics,” I advised him. “Do swingers wear New Balance?” Bruiser asked. “It seems to be a common accessory,” I replied. “I used to have some of those,” Bruiser told me.

Around this time, BamRight?!?!’s friend had joined us and was discussing napkin placement, which lead to a discussion about bandanas and the hanky code. “How do you know all of this?” BamRight?!?! asked. “Research,” I replied. His friend then stole a napkin from another patron and put it in his pocket. “Best be careful. If you’re not into ‘hanky panky’ you might want to take that out of your pocket,” I advised him. He quickly returned the napkin to the male patron and claimed he had no idea about the hanky code. Right. Just like he had no idea he is gay.

Nine hours after we began our imbibing, Bruiser and I decided to call it a night. “We’re going to my house to watch scary movies and cuddle up under a blanket,” Bruiser told the guys. “Can I join you?” BamRight?!?! asked. “No,” Bruiser and I both told him.”But we’re old friends and that’s what old friends do,” he tried to convince us. “Yes, we are old friends and none of us were born yesterday,” I told him and added, “Besides, we’re not wearing white sneakers.” As we got in the car we noticed the night was the opposite of us – still very young. Yep, we really are old…friends.