It has been a while since I’ve had my ‘visitation’ with Baby Q. Luckily, her parents were wanting to have some uninterrupted ‘adult time,’ so I got the chance to have another 24 hours with her.
Being a fan of vintage Sesame Street – you really haven’t lived until you have watched “It’s the Shpritzer Honker Splasher,” “We All Sing the Same Song,” “You’re my Baby,” “What’s the Name of That Song?” and any of their other videos from the early years (that would be the 1970s) – I decided to share these nuggets of wisdom with Baby Q. While doing so, I got a bit nostalgic and considered, for a mere second, the idea of having a wee one or two running around the house again. Then Baby Q got red faced, the room started to stink, and I was soon seeing actual nuggets. I think I’ll stick to babysitting/visitation only.
Several hours later, after introducing Baby Q to the library and duck feeding – for the record, she said ‘duck;’ I promise, it was ‘duck’ and not something that rhymes with ‘duck’ – I was getting ready to put her to bed when Wanted, BamRight?!?! and On My Terms stopped by for stoop time.
It was at this time that the need for parental supervision switched from Baby Q to BamRight?!?!. He was in standard form, flexing his muscles, yelling “Vaffanculo” and other random rudes at passersby, and suggesting people rub and touch him. I must admit, none of us were surprised by his behavior because we had witnessed this before. In addition, he had commandeered Wanted’s phone prior to arriving and had been sending me multiple texts about his CockAsian – not to be confused with Caucasian. Unfortunately, according to the texts, he had clearly ‘confused’ his cock with something negative because at one point he described it as “strawberries with little marshmallows.” I suggested he have the doctor, not me, look at it. He replied, “hire a babysitter.” I replied, “For the baby or BamRight?!?!”
Several insults to my neighbors and non-complete fist bumps later, Wanted suggested BamRight?!?! stop drinking and head home. As they drove away, On My Terms and I worried about her safety, mentioned how glad we were that we no longer needed parental supervision, and then discussed whose house we could toilet paper next time we all get together.