Although I don’t tell everyone all of my ailments – primarily because I don’t have many and they can read about them in the blog – I am not embarrassed to discuss things openly and honestly.
Thus, when my coworker asked why I was taking antibiotics, I candid(a)ly replied, “My pH balance is off. As a result, I’ve got the mother of all yeast infections.”
“You know how to take care of that? Douche with yogurt,” my coworker advised.
“Are you serious?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said proudly, started to walk away, then turned and added, “Not flavored, just plain.”
After work, I stopped by Opreggano’s house and shared this exchange with her.
“I’ve never heard such a thing,” she told me.
“I know, look that up online,” I advised.
She did, and we were shocked to learn about “The Great Yogurt Conspiracy” – a 1972 criminal trial against Carol Downer for the insertion of yogurt into a woman’s vagina as treatment for Candida (the yeast variety – not the 1970 hit by Tony Orlando and Dawn).
Learning about this was a real ‘culture shock’ for Opreggano and I. We were intrigued and continued to read about at-home methods for treating the common Candida. When Opreggano read one could use a ‘squeeze bottle’ to apply the home remedy, she quickly jumped up, ran to the kitchen, and returned with an empty hair coloring bottle.
“Here you go,” she giggled.
“I promise to wash it before I return it,” I replied.
“I won’t be wanting that back,” she informed me.
Seems strange, especially since so many hair product manufacturers stress the importance of a pH balanced shampoo.
As I left Opreggano’s house, she yelled out to me, “Don’t forget to stop and buy yogurt, unflavored.”
“Very funny,” I thought to myself.
I didn’t stop at the store for a variety of reasons. The primary reason being I didn’t want to do so. The secondary reason being I wanted to watch one of my library movies. I opted for The Road to Wellville – a ‘fictional’ story about Dr. John Harvey Kellogg’s Sanitarium in Battle Creek, Michigan. Although I had seen this movie when it was first released, I had forgotten about much of it’s goodness.
Only minutes into the movie, Mr. Lightbody, who is suffering from stomach problems, is assessed by Dr. Kellogg:
Dr. Kellogg: “The Bulgarians live longer than any other humans on earth and do you know why?”
Mr. Lightbody: “I don’t know any Bulgarians.”
Dr. Kellogg: “Yogurt.”
Dr. Kellogg then prescribed 15 gallons of yogurt. Mr. Lightbody tells the Doctor he can’t eat that much yogurt.
“Oh it’s not going in that end, Mr. Lightbody,” Dr. Kellogg replies.
It appeared that, like Opreggano and I, Mr. Lightbody experienced a little bit of culture shock.
Although the movie may not have been an exact representation of Dr. Kellogg’s life, it captured many of his eccentric beliefs and practices. One of his favorite devices (and practices) was the enema. Even better, an enema with a side of yogurt. According to wikipedia, “Every water enema was followed by a pint of yogurt – half was eaten, the other half was administered by enema.”
So, if you see me at the grocery store, stocking up on yogurt, don’t be shocked. Consider it a lesson, if you will, in culture – unflavored.