Just when I think I’m going to have a slow Friday, one or more of my friends surprise me. This weekend, Fine Girl had family – Big Hoops and Dirty Martini – in town for a surprise party and invited me to join them at the ‘rehearsal party.’
Upon my arrival, Fine Girl immediately poured me a glass of wine. “Have I made you my skinny margarita?” she asked me. “No,” I replied. “Let me do that right now,” she said and so began the drink making.
Fine Girl plans to retire soon and is hoping to find a job at a nice bar, mixing drinks for a living. “You should move to a sailor town and change your name to Brandy,” I suggested. “You are a fine girl,” Big Hoops added.
“My boyfriend is a lot younger and he doesn’t know how old I am, so I always tell him, ‘I grew up in the 80s. I love the 80s.’ You know, bands like Journey, Foreigner….” Big Hoops told us. “Looking Glass,” I added while thinking to myself, “Pretty sure those are 70s groups, but good on her!”
Dirty Martini is not much of a drinker, however, when she saw Fine Girl shaking the martini shaker, she couldn’t resist. “Whoa, Dirty Martini is going to get drunk!” Big Hoops exclaimed. “Better watch it,” Dirty Martini advised Fine Girl’s beau and added, “It’s been twenty years since I’ve had some.” Fine Girl’s beau replied, “Dirty martini is just the name of the drink. It doesn’t make you dirty.”
“Speaking of dirty, did I tell you what happened to my daughter?” Dirty Martini asked us and continued, “She and her friends were all dressed up and walking down Hollywood Boulevard when some guys walked by and said, “We might have to get some of that gray beaver.” “Gray beaver!?!?” we all exclaimed. “Yes, gray beaver,” she confirmed. “That is exactly why I shave,” I informed them.
We decided to go outside and enjoy our drinks on the patio. Within seconds of being outside, Fine Girl went back in the house and then returned with mosquito spray. “Guess we better spray the gray,” I said to Big Hoops. “Jajajajajaja,” she replied.
Big Hoops has friends in Cuba and, instead of saying ‘hahahaha,’ they often say/type, ‘jajajajaja.’ We decided we like that concept and started doing the same the rest of the evening. Unfortunately, the mosquitoes were biting and bites, especially in the gray, are itchy, so we moved back into the house.
Big Hoops pulled out some of the jewelry she sells and was showing it to us. Dirty Martini was loving it and buying several items. “Keep her drinks coming,” Big Hoops told Fine Girl. While Fine Girl continued shaking (sometimes she would just shake her booty and forget to shake the shaker), Big Hoops pulled out a pair of big hoop earrings. “I just love big hoops. Don’t you just love big hoops? I mostly like them because I can put my ankles in them,” Big Hoops said while making a gesture to imply her legs were up and over her head. “Jajajajajaja,” we all replied.