It has been several years since I met up with Twofer – five years to be exact – so when we got together for lunch we had a lot of catching up to do. Her dad recently moved in with her, so he joined us for lunch and Twofer was filling him in on all of our shenanigans.
“We really have a lot in common Dad. In fact, we even date the same type of guys,” she said, paused, and added, “Except hers are good looking.” I laughed and she continued, “No, really they are. The guys you’ve dated have been really good looking. Mine on the other hand, well….” As her words and mind trailed off I asked if she was currently dating.
“Yes. It’s a weird story,” she told me. “How did you meet?” I asked. “Well, we bonded over a stalking injunction that I was filing against my ex. They were roommates. Like I said, it is weird. Plus, my mom is dating his dad.” Her dad sat quietly next to her, nodding his head and smiling occasionally, as she shared all of the details. “Why did you have to file a stalking injunction?” I asked. “Well, that’s another note to self. If the VA tells you someone is 70% mentally disabled, you should probably end the relationship,” she replied. “Sound advice. Even if they’re good looking or good in bed. You know what they say, ‘Freak in the bed, freak in the head,'” I told her.
After our conversation, I decided that I should my online dating profile, “Interested in a single male (preferably not good looking) whose dad isn’t dating my mom, doesn’t know of a word that rhymes with ‘stalking injunction,’ and who wouldn’t mind spending our first date getting a mental health evaluation.” I best clear the lines now, my phones are going to be ringing off the hook!