Fockette

Drizzler and I have something in common: Pinot grigio is like caffeine for us. It gives her energy and makes me regular. Regularity is a really good thing unless you are in a third world country, camping, or using old plumbing that may or may not have one or two Hot Wheels clogging the pipes.

Unfortunately, the latter made my regularity obvious to everyone in the house. As I was preparing to shower, I heard the sink gurgling. Drizzler had mentioned that this sound was an indication the drain may need to be snaked, but that it was “no big deal.”

She was right, minus the ‘no’ part. As soon as I flushed the toilet it backed up. “Shit,” I thought, and meant it. After scouring the bathroom for a plunger, I politely called out to Drizzler, “Any chance you have a plunger?” Being the consummate host, she offered to have File Not Found plunge it for me. “That’s kind, but I wouldn’t do that to anyone.” Anyone, except File Not Found. Plunging ended up not being an option, thus, File Not Found snaked the drain.

It is difficult to know how to best reciprocate that kind of kindness. I ended up buying him beer and hoping this experience would be one he would store in a file that he wouldn’t find later.

Once we arrived at the marina for a “randy day of sailing,” as File Not Found hoped to have, we found a boat whose name was fitting for thousands of things. Fockette. “Fockette is right,” said File Not Found, “After this morning that is the perfect expression and boat name.”

That said, we hopped on to High Time (also fitting), hit the engine, checked out the cloudy sky and low winds, and said, “Fockette, let’s do it.” We did and a randy day we had.