Winking wankers

While dining at our favorite sushi restaurant, Sleepless and I made an observation, “There are a lot of Asians here.” Being that the restaurant specializes in Japanese and Chinese cuisine, one would think the presence of Asians would be a given. Not in this neck of the woods. Typically, the only Asians seen here are Caucasians.

“I’ve become pretty sexist and racist since moving to Wyoming,” White Woman told us. “When I first moved there I was shocked by the lack of culture. Now, when I see culture I am shocked. It’s crazy how I’ve changed. A lot of people are afraid of me.”

“They should be,” I told her and added, “You’re a white woman from Wyoming.”

I’m not sure if someone winked at her at this point in the conversation, but I’m thinking they must have and I know it wasn’t me (remember, I can’t wink). “I find winking very creepy,” White Woman told us. “Especially by a stranger. I just don’t think it is possible to wink without being perverted.”

“Can you wink?” I asked her. “Yes.” “Do you?” “Not very often.” Sleepless interjected, “I can’t believe this. You always made fun of me because I couldn’t wink. As a result, I spent hours teaching myself to do it.” “Wow White Woman, even your sister is afraid of you,” I said.

Ice Cream Man decided to try out his wink. “You probably shouldn’t wink,” Mini Me advised him. “Creepy, right?” he replied and added, “With a wink like mine I should have an ice cream van and candy in my pockets at all times.”

Just then, One And Done started rapidly winking both eyes. “Wow,” I quipped, “this just went from creepy to carnival.” Take that my winking wanker Rusty Rogue Rafael. Not winking doesn’t making me a freak because, clearly, only freaks wink.