Stones, bags and cable

The Babysitter’s Club has been in full bloom this week. The first gig involved just me and Baby Q and she was problem free, as usual. The clients, aka her parents, returned to retrieve her and, as we were chatting, Oreggano and Patty Melt stopped by.

Oreggano loves babies. “She is so cute. Oh my god, she is so cute. How cute is she?” she repeatedly stated. Patty Melt, on the other hand, is not a fan, “I hate kids. Especially teenagers. Once they’re 13, you should just grab a bag and some stones and throw them in the river. I’ve always wanted to be a foster parent, but I hate babies.” “You may not want to mention that in the home study,” I advised her.

I had thought for sure that Patty Melt’s unfavorable comments would result in me losing my one and only gig – fortunately, I was wrong. The next day, I got to babysit Baby Q again. In addition, I had the company and support of Sleepless, That’s Not Chinese and Little Sleep.

Little Sleep was interested in watching TV, so, being a helpful babysitter, I attempted to find the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon. Not one to watch much TV – especially these two channels – I had no idea which channel to select. so I was mindlessly flipping through all of them. After a couple hundred channels, I decided to find the paper guide. While doing so, I got a “Really?!?!” from That’s Not Chinese. “What?” I asked. “Look at what is on the screen,” she advised. I looked up at the screen to find that I had stopped in the adult section of the guide/channels. Options such as “She Likes It Big” and “Hard, Hairy and Heavy” and the like were front and center on the guide/screen, just waiting to be selected.

“Oops,” I replied and, while quickly changing the channel, whispered to That’s Not Chinese, “Didn’t she say she wanted to watch Dickelodeon?”

Between Patty Melt and cable TV, I may never get another babysitting gig again.