Oreggano and I were supposed to get facials last week, or so we incorrectly thought. Our appointments were actually for this week and, sadly, Oreggano had to work so I was going by myself.
I am not at all opposed to doing things by myself. In fact, I’ve had some of my best times by myself – wink, wink, nod, nod. As That’s Not Chinese and I once learned at an event sponsored by Dr. BJ, “You are your own best entertainment.” Is it true? Yes it is.
So, this morning as I was getting ready for my facial, I attempted to apply lotion to my body. The tube of lotion was new and appeared to have a thin seal across the top. I couldn’t seem to remove the seal and decided I would attempt to force it off. I grabbed the bottom of the tube and squeezed it as hard as I could so as to force enough air to the top of the tube that the seal would give. Give it did.
Like a fool, I was looking directly at the top of the tube to see if this trick would work. As a result, my face was covered with lotion, as was my hair. I looked like I had just walked off a porn set. The facial before the facial. After cleaning off my face I assessed the rest of the bathroom. I definitely could have reported to authorities that a spank bank had been robbed. Lotion was everywhere – on the walls, the shower curtain, the floor, my bathrobe – literally everywhere.
As The Leaver might say, “this wasn’t my first rodeo,” so I grabbed a couple of paper towels and cleaned up aisle 9.