Blind dates can be awkward, so it is always nice when one can make a group date out of it; as was the case the other night when The Responsible One and I attempted to line up our friends. We met at a pub and, although the atmosphere was decent, we decided to change venues – maybe go somewhere we could dance.
FatGirl and Tree, part of the group date, were really pushing for a gay bar. “I’ve only got $10 and if we go to a gay bar I can get free drinks with these,” said FatGirl while rubbing his pecks. That’s Not Chinese wasn’t keen on this choice, so we continued to discuss other options. Gay bars continued to be suggested by FatGirl and Tree. “What normal bars……” The Responsible One started to ask and then realized what had come out of her mouth. “Oh shit. That is not at all what I meant. I’m gay friendly. Look,” she said and pointed to Sausage Sampler. “Now who is the drink whisperer?” Drink Whisperer smuggly and rhetorically asked.
We ended up going to a ‘normal’ bar just down the street and found we were a year or two older than most of the patrons. “Maybe we should try going to a ‘normal’ gay bar,” suggested Tree. We did, only to find a lot of other people had the same idea. Tree and FatGirl, wanting deep drink discounts, opted to fight the crowds. Sausage Sampler and That’s Not Chinese decided to call it a night. Sleepless, Drink Whisperer, Passed The Sniff Test, The Responsible One and I felt like we had some singing to do and drove as fast as we could to our favorite karaoke bar.
The crowd was like a mixed salad – good for the soul and complimented by just the right amount of nuts. “I had really thought everybody was done for the night,” Passed The Sniff Test told us. “Oh no,” said Sleepless. “The party never ends, it just changes venue.”
By the end of the night, we had come up with a new business idea, a bar called ‘Geri’s.’ The target population would be geriatric adults. On the menu, warm milk with a Centrum Silver sidecar. Want to get a little crazy and treat constipation? Try a Flaming Fiber shot. In the mood to win? Give the BINGO Bomb a go. Mind Erasers will always be the ‘drink special.’ Instead of condoms, we plan to have Depends dispensers in the loo. Matlock and Murder She Wrote will be playing on flat screen TVs while soft music plays overhead. The rubberized dance floor will be perfect for unexpected falls and dirty dancing in sensible shoes. Like public television exercise shows, we’ll have a section with folding chairs for low-effort gyrating.
Like Sleepless said, the party never ends – it just changes venues and ‘adapts’ with age.