I currently believe Sleepless to be one of the luckiest people ever. Unlike the rest of us, who were most likely working today, Sleepless is on a vacation of sorts and getting paid $18.50 today and, for each additional ‘vacation’ day, $49. Yes, Sleepless is a trier of facts for the next five days and will soon be rolling in the dough. Did I mention they also pay for her parking fees? No valet, but, still. She’s making at least $100, maybe, math isn’t my forté. 2011 is shaping up very nicely for her.
We had hoped to go on this orderly vacation, a timeshare of sorts, together, but I didn’t receive my winning yellow card until this weekend. And, to be honest, I’m not sure we would have both made it through security. Based on the dates of my winning yellow card, it looks like my ordered vacation begins when her’s ends.
I was telling one of my coworkers about Sleepless’ good fortune, primarily because I’m hoping to have the same good fortune next week, when she started asking me about criminal activity. Specifically, those crimes involving gang members. I was giving her a few bits of information and then decided to ask her a question, “If a gang member – who makes his living flashing signs, pressing the spray paint caps and thumbing through Benjamins – gets arthritis or breaks his hand during a fist bump, would he qualify for social security or workers compensation?” Sadly, my coworker did not have an answer for me. She’s no Andy Griffith, but me and Sleepless, we’re like Aunt Bee and the case of the stolen TV – holding out for the facts and bringing order to the court, arthritic hands and all.