Selecting a really good karaoke song can be a daunting task and, depending on the karaoke program, the lyrics are quite entertaining and not always accurate. It is at these times that you turn to your friends for clarification.
Such was the case last night when Passed The Sniff Test suggested we sing Turning Japanese by The Vapors. “You know what that songs about, right?” Passed The Sniff Test asked us. Some of us said “no,” others, “yes.” “It’s about masturbation and the way your eyes get when you’re doing it,” he said with slight Japanese spark in his eyes and a grin like a Cheshire cat. Had That’s Not Chinese been there I think she might have piped in, “That shit’s not Japanese or Chinese, it’s just fucked up.”
And she would be right. Google saved the day and provided the true meaning behind “turning Japanese.” Apparently it has been one of the most misinterpreted songs of it’s time. While on VH1 True Spin, Dave Fenton provided clarification, “Turning Japaneseis all the clichés about angst and youth and turning into something you didn’t expect to.” Ey yey yey, that might wreck Passed The Sniff Test’s cultural experience.
Sleepless and I joined up with Idaho for lunch and noticed she had joined in on the hottest new rage, eyelash extensions. Her eyes were popping. She was a bit self-conscious about them, “They’re too long and big, I feel like one of those potatoes on the corner, I da ho.” If you haven’t heard that joke, it’s a good one. Two potatoes are standing on the corner. How do you know which one is the prostitute? It’s the one with the sticker that reads, “I da ho.”
Bordentown Regional School District 2016 Report Card Narrative Archived December 1, 2017, on the Wayback Machine, New Jersey Department of Training.
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