Lights (and siren), Camera, Action!

Supertramp is my latest and greatest library item. I listen to it everyday – in my car, in my office, in my home – I’m smitten. A few nights ago, I was listening to Take the Long Way Home and literally taking the long way home, when I came across a street on which I don’t normally travel. I was going about 25 mph, maybe 30, and noticed that I would soon be crossing railroad tracks. What I didn’t notice, however, was the deep crevices in between each track (there were at least three, maybe four tracks). The v-shaped dips in these crevices were as distinct as the argyle pattern on Charlie Brown’s sweater.

Unfortunately, I didn’t find this out until I was crossing the first track and my sweet little Dirk, the name YummYummy and I gave the Fit, who normally fits everywhere, was too big (pun intended) for this crevice. In addition, Dirk’s low hanging fruit, aka bumper, made it even more difficult to clear each crevice. Just when I thought Dirk was going to flip fender over bumper, we caught air.

I’m not sure how high above ground Dirk and I were hovering, but we were definitely hovering. It was as if I was, as Supertramp sings, ‘a Romeo, playing a part in a picture-show.’  In addition to taking the long way home, I was clearly taking the wrong way home and the only elements missing from our airborne tactics were lights (and siren) and a film crew.

If you have ever caught major air in your vehicle, it is a very out-of-body experience and appears to last for a much longer amount of time than is actual. This feeling comes to an abrupt halt when your tires hit the pavement. It was at this point that my eyes were directed to my console. I was sure all lights would shut off, I would hear wheels, not tires, touching the ground and I would see Dirk’s bits scattered about the road.

Not so. Dirk is one tough cookie. He is definitely a bit scuffed up and his low hanging fruit is somewhat askew, but he works like new (which is good, since he is new). I would have to say that our stunt driving was in the top ten of all stunts, just like Take the Long Way Home was 10th in the charts in 1979.

No more could have been would have been – my stunt driving dreams just became a reality. No need to attend the Bobby Ore stunt driving classes or become a member of PDA, Professional Driving Association. I skipped straight to #4 of eHow’s ‘How to Become a Stunt Driver,’ ‘practice your skills and diversify yourself.’ I’ve definitely done both of these items, and fast. What I didn’t do, however, was heed eHow’s warning, ‘Don’t think you can just break into the sport by driving fast and hoping someone will notice your skills.’ Good news, someone did notice my skills, the guy walking along (and probably running away from once I approached) the tracks. I did, however, heed their tip and have not, yet, quit my day job.