If you like to lie…..

Every now and again a good pampering is in order and pedicures, with paraffin wax is one of my favorite pampering treatments. OregganO and decided to start our day with said treatment and had the good fortune of being seated right next to each other.

We were discussing relationships and dating with our treatment providers when the topic of making out came up. A while back, MiniMe said she and her roommates have a list on which they keep the names of people with whom they cannot make out. As we all discussed this concept, we came to the conclusion that it was a bit odd and, mostly, difficult. “That’s how you meet people,” OregganO said. “You make out with them.” I’ve actually never truly met anyone in this way, so it sounds like a good New Year’s resolution.

I had tried to show the girls some pictures of MiniMe and did what I often do, almost typed her name in the “share” box, which would have made her my facebook status. “Never look for people in your share spot,” I advised them. “Good advice,” OregganO stated, “location, location, location.” It was at this point that my treatment provider, Five Days, informed us she hates where she lives, “It is very dangerous. We have been robbed twice and I think it was my next door neighbor.” OregganO offered to assist with their home needs and the girl suggested she contact her husband directly to sway him to list the house, “Lie to him, if you like to lie,” Five Days told OregganO. “That is how he understands. No, really, it is.”

We were almost done with the pampering, but OregganO’s polish was still a bit wet. “I’m going to blow on your toe so it will dry,” Happy Ending advised her. “Perfect,” said OregganO. “It’s been a long time since someone told me that.” My guess is it hasn’t happened since she stopped making out with people to meet them. Happy Ending then added, “Sucking and licking will cost extra.” Nothing like a full-service salon.

Several hours later, OregganO and I decided to use a gift card (with $3 on it – wouldn’t want it to go to waste) at a local eatery. As we walked in we were greeted by the host who had a very obvious black eye. “That’s a nasty shiner,” I told him. “That’s such an old word,” Shiner replied, “and that’s like the fourth time I’ve heard it.” “Well, we’re old,” I responded. “No way,” Shiner smiled and added, “I was just going to give you a kids menu.” Five Days may be spot on with her theory – neither Oreggano or I minded Shiner’s little white lie.

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