It will be in the review

If you’re ever on TripAdvisor, be sure to check the reviews for the Laird Bistro. This morning, I was invited to enjoy a lovely breakfast, at the Laird Bistro, with Skiwi, DDDG and MiniMe. I offered to bring some of the city’s finest orange juice and Skiwi offered to compliment it with some of the bistro’s finest champagne.

Skiwi prides himself on his hospitality skills and had complimented the meal with the global sounds of Putumayo World Music – which provided us both a soothing sensation and an activity (guess the language/origin country of each song). This prompted me to ask DDDG the number of languages she speaks, “Three: German, Polish and English.” She recently dabbled in French (the same way Alice and I dabbled in Italian – took a class, ate a baguette). Not one to be outdone, Skiwi proudly shared his language skills with us, “I speak the Queen’s English.” “Impressive,” I replied and continued, “I don’t know if you noticed, but earlier when I said this was my favourite orange juice, I totally pronounced the ‘ou’.” “Oh yes,” Skiwi replied, “I noticed.” Very Scotland Yard of him – cannot get anything passed him!

Skiwi then began discussing a common English staple he currently enjoys: oats (go ahead, wikipedia ‘oats’ – when you’re done, wikipedia ‘wikipedia’ and then google ‘google’, just for kicks). “Yes,” DDDG piped in, “he is our new pony – eating so many oats all of the time – we are always buying more for him.” Skiwi wasn’t keen on this response and made a reference to the conditions in which DDDG was raised. “America could benefit from some parts of communism – like healthcare and education,” retorted DDDG. “The other stuff that comes with it – for example, freedom of speech – well, maybe not so much.”

We had been teasing about setting up a TripAdvisor account for Laird Bistro and, initially, I had promised rave reviews. Then they ‘made’ me wash the dishes and rake the leaves. “This will all be in my review,” I informed them. “That’s fine,” said DDDG, “We want to make sure people know what will be expected of them if they do dine with us.”

Approximately four hours later I was leaving the bistro for other activities. “This was very Euro of us,” commented Skiwi. “We started with mimosas and breakfast, had an espresso, finished the date off with cosmos, and now we have perfectly segmented into the lunch hour.” Very Euro of us and time very well spent. If I were to rate Laird Bistro today, it would receive five green circles, a thumbs up and I would recommend that guests considering the bistro brush up on their Queen’s English – as it would be an honour for Skiwi to speak with them in his ‘native’ tongue.

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