It appears I broke a mirror seven years ago and all of the superstitious karma from it is occurring today. While walking into work, I dropped my phone. The entire screen shattered. I should have been upset, but I’m not going to lie, I like it, it’s artistic.
Not soon after arriving at work (well, it was about 60 minutes later and my computer was still “booting”), I received a 9-1-1 call from I’ll Call You Later only to find out I should have pressed “ignore,” so as to avoid troll encounters and enjoy the Hawaiian coffee grounds I had just brewed at my office.
After realizing 9-1-1 is a joke in my town, Fru Fru Pants and I grabbed mochas and lattes. For a moment, it seemed life was good. Not so. In between meetings I stopped at the local drug store to buy finger nail polish remover, so as to look quasi-professional. Apparently, they only tested these pads on people with nine fingers. As a result, I returned to my office with a red polished pinky, only. Don’t hate.
Fru Fru Pants had business to tend to, so she couldn’t provide me full support today. She was voting on department awards. Last year, the groups that were “awarded” were laid off, thus, we now call these “The Layoff Awards.” Even though I don’t work there, I asked her to vote for me. What can I say, I’m competitive.
Like some of our “clients,” we clearly woke on the wrong side of the bed and/or tracks tonight. Never good to wake up in the face of oncoming traffic. Fru Fru Pants was doing her best to make me feel better about my day, all the while ignoring the horrid details of her day. She pulled out a fashion catalog and said, “You could do this, you could be her, look what she likes: mixed tapes. She is a business owner, an interior designer and she has a job.” Thank you Fru Fru.
Thank you for helping me feel better about my dire situation, for encouraging me to gargle with Tito’s vodka and discouraging me from having an open sore if I didn’t have fun getting it.
Alice, as much as I missed Italian class, the language skills I learned tonight are sure to surpass anything ending in -co, -i, or -e. Let’s connect later for details about tonight. Depending on how the voting goes, I may have a lot of time on my hands.