BeCuz phoned me this morning (morning for me today was around 10) with a desire to eat lunch. I was really glad for this because 1) I was hungry and b) I was exhausted from the 90 minutes of work I had experienced. We went to an Italian restaurant because she wanted a Muffaletto. I informed her it was a Muffaletta and she replied, “Muffaletto, muffaletta, what’s the difference?” Being “schooled” in Italian I informed her there was a big difference – she could end up with a lot of muff as opposed to the sandwich she really wanted. We placed our order and, sadly, they did not have cannoli as a dessert option. So, while paying at the register, BeCuz decided to buy a Ritter Sport chocolate. The Ritter Joghurt was the first to catch her eye, and resulted in her choosing the marzipan because, as she so eloquently stated, “Joghurt? Damn straight jogging hurts and just for that I’m having the marzipan.”
Later I met up with Fru Fru Pants for our daily specialty beverage. We decided to go for a bit of a ride and, as luck would have it, an “exclamation icon” lit up on my dash. We headed straight to the dealership for consultation. Upon arriving we were advised I had a screw in my tire and it was not repairable. Fru Fru Pants looked at me and said, “Isn’t that always the way it goes? You want the screw and your tire gets it instead.” It appears my message to the universe was not distinct enough, next time I’ll be sure to be more clear.
Fru Fru Pants and I retired to her house for wine, dinner and eyebrow coloring. I reminded her of the time I colored my eyebrows in an attempt to match my hair color (which was a red of sorts) and they turned out bozo the clown red. This wouldn’t be a big deal if I was a SIDS clown, but I was not. I was a girl in a relationship. I told Fru Fru Pants, if there was ever a time in that relationship that I would understand cheating, that would be the time. I wouldn’t hit that bozo shit.
Thanks for correcting her “Muffaletto”-takes all the pressure off old Carmas with a ‘K’
I’m always about relieving the pressure from Carmas with a “K”.
Muffaletto, muffaletta – it matters!
indeed it matters. good spelling/grammar are the only things separating us from our simian cousins. everyone knows monkeys can’t spell for shit. especially italian ones. next time, try not correcting her, use one of these two rejoinders:
a) are you sure you want to keep calling it a muffaletto? even though you’re clearly wrong?
b) honestly, I guess no one will notice how you’re mangling that word, since we’re in utah.
passive aggression/sarcasm make for friendly friends.
I used two “/” in this comment.
I felt pretty separated from BeCuz when she said that. She isn’t a monkey, but she did attend my sister’s birthday party when we hired a guy and two chimpanzees. I like your rejoinder examples, especially “b”. Very helpful. I would have to agree, passive aggression/sarcasm make for good family/friends. As does using “/” twice in one day.