A while back there were a couple of weeks when I had to tell at least five people that their zippers were down. Most of these were people I work with, one person was my boss’ son, to whom I said, “What’s up? Not your zipper.” The first guy I had to tell this to called me a few weeks later to say, “Hey Zipper Police, just wanted to let you know, I am wearing the same pants as I did when you told me my zipper was down and I noticed it was down again today. Thought you might want to know.” From now on his name will be Eye on the Fly.
Eye on the Fly was working with me today and, throughout the day, made a point of letting me know the status of his and other people’s zips. Later in the day someone asked, “Is Eye on the Fly still here?” Another person responded, “Yes, I hear clapping.” I responded, “You heard Eye on the Fly Clapping?” She replied, ” Yes.” I asked, “How did you know it was him?” Roast Beff quipped, “He has a distinct clap. Drove me nuts, that’s why I broke up with him.”
A few minutes later I was shooting the breeze with Bond Girl when a man walked by with the sound of music coming from his pants. Bond Girl, in awe, stated, “There is music playing in his pants. Those are pants for a player.” I heard the music, but I didn’t hear him clap. Based on the fact that his pants are for a player, I would venture to bet his clap is distinct.